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[personal profile] skeren
Title: A Literary Expose on Uzumaki Breeding Habits.
Fandom: Naruto
Note: Pure Crack for the aspiring mind... but weirdly accurate.


The male Uzumaki is a very powerful creature, often learning abilities quickly and forming bonds that would make it an attractive mate. Unfortunately, male Uzumaki tend to not reach sexual maturity until later in life as they're too busy establishing their territory and do not feel safe enough to take the final step of looking into mates.

This is why the female Uzumaki exists. Often, a female Uzumaki will find and fixate on a powerful male early in life, defending her claim until he is ready to breed. It is always the females that initiate matings.

Please do not mistake the Uzumaki female for being weak. She is fiercely territorial, and will take any threats toward her young as a sign that she should use lethal force. This also goes for her chosen male, though please note that Uzumaki females do not always have enough males, and will go after males of similar power and docility. This means that similar species, such as Namikaze, Senju, and Uchiha, will seem very appealing to the Uzumaki female so long as they have not dirtied their power in a manner unpalateable to the female.

Some species will show interest in the Uzumaki male that will unfortunately often come to no fruition, due to the way that an Uzumaki male matures. Often, a Hyuuga will present themselves, only to be ignored as an Uzumaki male does not understand that he is getting mating signals. This is because the male is only receptive to force. This might, perhaps, be the cause of any mixed signals that the Uchiha cause when dealing with Uzumaki males, as the Uzumaki male tends to take aggression and obsession as a cue that it is safe to mate.

This is not to say that mating is the only way Uzumaki relate to other species! Not at all. Uzumaki, while often attracted to brightly colored things, will sometimes hoard them close. This is especially true of the males, who wish to have brightly colored companions in their territory. It is not unheard of for blue or pink females to be around an Uzumaki male, while being entirely in a caretaking situation of protection.

Uzumaki females are perhaps more difficult. When separated from their males, there is usually some degree of difficulty that transpires, leading to them coming up with progressively more elaborate methods to catch their favored male. They often prefer to spend their time around other females who they find nonthreatening in nature, or males who they have the ability to easily subdue. Some theorize that this is because they can then offer them to their male as mating gifts, as a show that they too can protect the territory that their male has established.

This leads us to a caution. While both male and female Uzumaki have tempers, the males are much less likely to attempt to tear apart whoever, or whatever, sparked said temper. Females, unfortunately, can and have often proven in the past, to have waited, and hunted down their source of irritation in growing ire, which sadly at times results in severe injuries to whomever attempted to escape from their punishment in the first place.

Please note any similarities in Uzumaki breeding habits to those of Senju are understandable and common, due to the two breeds being very closely intermingled. Senju are just known to have smaller breeding pools and thus are far more rare than Uzumaki, making harder to study.'

As an unrelated, but important notice. Please do not assume that Uzumaki are hostile to non-breedable races, as they often have some kind of pet in the vicinity. The best known are frogs and foxes. These pets are often hostile to any who are not Uzumaki.

Note: A recent study has found that displays of violence from the otherwise nonviolent, like the Hyuuga, can catch the Uzumaki male's attention.
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Skeren Dreamera

February 2016

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