Desecrate through Reverence
August 21st, 2005 11:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skerenTitle: Desecrate through Reverence
Pairing: Havoc/Ed
Rating: Not really worksafe
Notes/warnings: It’s non-con in theme. And yes, Havoc isn’t completely right in the head here, tread carefully.
There was a time when he would have thought this was wrong. There was a time when he was sure he might have cared about that. But it was too late now. He was captivated by the idea. He had been for years, watching and waiting from a few steps back as the other changed, became different from how he was the first time they met.
He was sure he wouldn’t be welcome, that was a certainty that went unshaken in his mind as he slipped closer to his target. So terribly long he’d waited for this chance. But it was time for the other to pay his due, to stop ignoring him.
Slipping his hands quickly past bowed shoulders to catch gloved fingers in his hands, he squeezed, settling firmly against his back as he made sure those deadly hands were held firmly in his grip. He wouldn’t give him the chance to lash out, most especially not before the other knew who he was.
It was obvious that he was confused, his gold eyes growing wide as he realized who had a grip on him. Instead of explaining himself, the larger man just looked over his shoulder, studying the book that was opened in the younger’s lap as the teen tried to squirm his hands loose. He couldn’t have that, it would ruin his plans, and he didn’t really want to hurt his prize. His goal wasn’t to hurt him at all. No, he wanted to keep him instead.
He didn’t want many things, just some love and affection, but failing that he could go for keeping this one, if only for a little while. He made a hushing noise at him, ceasing the uneasy motions as he tugged him back, knowing that his prize didn’t really want to hurt him either. Not after just so recently being injured because of him.
“What… are you doing?” The smaller relaxed a little as nothing else happened, but the inherent stiffness made it clear that he wasn’t at all fond of the current attention.
“I’m just collecting a due is all.” Casting his eyes around the room, he nodded to himself, reassured that nobody would come here for a few hours at the very least. He’d been careful about that, since he knew that nobody else would have reached the startling clarity, as he had, that wrong didn’t matter anymore.
Nothing mattered without a proper purpose, and he’d long since lost his. He needed a new reason. So he was making one.
“A due?” He sounded confused by that, but when he tried to turn in his grip he just tightened his arms, shaking his head. Stilling, with his voice moving from confused to uneasy, he tried again. “What due? I don’t ignore things like that…”
“Yes you do. You value that trade of yours, but you do little with it when someone is constantly there.” Nuzzling against his hair, the larger man readjusted his grip, shifting small mismatching wrists to one hand quickly as the other moved to rest along the teen’s collarbone. He was delicate, even with the touch of metal under his fingers.
“That’s not true!” He twisted around in his grip, tugging his wrists a bit to try and make him let go without having to resort to violence. “And this isn’t funny! It’s a bad joke.”
“No joke at all. I just wanted a little attention for once. Since nobody is willing to give it, it’s not so wrong to take it. Right?” The tremble under his hands was muted by layers of cloth, but the pure uneasiness that had entered the golden eyes didn’t quite bother him as it should. “I’m not going to hurt you, so it’s nothing bad.”
“Well, what are you going to do then?” He seemed to collect himself with that, tugging at his hands a little still, trying to slide away from the hand on his upper chest without letting him notice. Of course the older man noticed, but he didn’t let his small companion realize he did. Not yet.
Sliding his fingers down, he ran his palm up under the thick over shirt to rest against the rapid beating heart there. He petted, pushing him back into his lap as the book skittered to the floor. “I’m going to love you.”
The longhaired one froze in his grip, breath picking up before he started shaking his head quickly. “Then why are you holding onto me like this?
“Because I want you to let me. Will you let me boss? Is it too much to ask for a little attention for once?” He nuzzled again at his hair, the hand at his wrists tightening slightly as the other played down his shirtfront. He could take his time. He didn’t need to worry that the boy would get away. He’d be careful, cautious in a way that nobody ever bothered to be with him.
“That doesn’t make sense. No sense at all. Fine, I’ll play cards with you or something, you only needed to ask, but get off me!” He twisted a little, scowling, but there was a distinctly uneasy look in his gold eyes.
The teen hadn’t resumed struggling, so he took that as a positive sign, fingers undoing the clasp of his overshirt so he could stroke the skin of his collar near his automail. “I don’t really want to play cards with you right now. But maybe later? If you’re still willing I mean.”
He must have seen something in his eyes, or heard something in his tone, because the gold eyes got a little wider, the tugs a little less cautious about if they could possibly hurt the larger blond or not. “I don’t know what the hell you thought you were going to get out of me, but you were wrong alright? Wrong!”
“That seems to be the reaction I always get.” Sighing softly, he yanked the teen into his lap more securely, keeping automail pressed to the alchemist’s other wrist so that if he kept trying to use it or get loose he would hurt himself as much or worse than him. “Just calm down and let me, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“That’s nice! Really! Get the fuck off me! Did you get hit too hard or something on that last mission?” He winced as the tugging made the metal dig painfully into his skin, but he didn’t stop pulling until he traced his larger hand down to run his fingers over the front of his pants. At that point he froze entirely.
“Not really. It was a bullet wound, remember? Just… let me have a reason to care if I live or die anymore.” He wasn’t lying, that was why he felt the need to do this, to step up and take something he would have otherwise never have considered. He just didn’t care what the consequences were.
“Havoc! That’s not… I…” Grimacing, the smaller blond shook his head mutely, clearly unable to get across whatever he was wanting to say. When he started speaking again, the words were almost too low for him to catch. “But… I thought you had a reason. I mean, you’re helping the Colonel right? That’s the reason… You don’t need my help for that reason!”
“That’s not human contact. That’s not acceptance or warmth. That’s not enough.” Nimble fingers undid the teen’s pants quickly and his hand slid under the material so he could run his fingers over what was there. The complete lack of excitement was expected, if not a little disappointing.
“No! Don’t do that! You’re not supposed to do that!” The smaller of the pair pressed back into the larger, slightly panicked as he renewed the tugs on his wrists, careful now for completely other reasons than not wanting to injure his companion. He just wanted to get away from the hand down his pants.
“Shhh, it’s alright. Just let me make you feel good. That’s all for now. Just feel.” Moving long fingers over the flesh against his palm, he let his eyes fall half shut, lips brushing over a soft cheek. “You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you Boss.”
“You are hurting me. You’re not- You’re a guy.” He flinched, the self-remonstration clear on his face as he leaned away from the elder man’s lips, the head shaking resuming. “Don’t you get it? You’re not supposed to, and I don’twant to.”
So his words might say, but the fine tremble that was under his hands wasn’t entirely from fear and panic. No, some of it was from what his hand was doing. He’d spent many a night to himself, so he knew exactly how to pull and tug, bringing the unwilling youth to life even as he continued to try to squirm away, protests getting lower, falling into miserable whispers.
It went more smoothly then, especially since it seemed that the teen couldn’t bring himself to hurt him. He could have, he had automail. He could have ripped out of the snug grip and nailed him one, but he didn’t. He squirmed and protested but he didn’t make him stop the touching. It didn’t take long until he got what he was after, warmth spilling over his fingers as a low, near pained sounding whimper came to his ears. It wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear, but time would improve that, it was something to hope for.
“Let me go now.” The voice was thick, filled with unshed tears. “Just… just let me go.”
“No… I don’t want to let go anymore.” Kissing the back of the teen’s neck, he pulled his hands loose of the leather, gently refastening the material before he released his wrists. Only after the hands fell limply to Edward’s lap did he relax, wandering hands sliding around the small form to hug him securely against his chest as he kept his face tucked against golden hair. He’d gotten what he came for. It was so much sweeter than he’d expected it would be.
Pairing: Havoc/Ed
Rating: Not really worksafe
Notes/warnings: It’s non-con in theme. And yes, Havoc isn’t completely right in the head here, tread carefully.
There was a time when he would have thought this was wrong. There was a time when he was sure he might have cared about that. But it was too late now. He was captivated by the idea. He had been for years, watching and waiting from a few steps back as the other changed, became different from how he was the first time they met.
He was sure he wouldn’t be welcome, that was a certainty that went unshaken in his mind as he slipped closer to his target. So terribly long he’d waited for this chance. But it was time for the other to pay his due, to stop ignoring him.
Slipping his hands quickly past bowed shoulders to catch gloved fingers in his hands, he squeezed, settling firmly against his back as he made sure those deadly hands were held firmly in his grip. He wouldn’t give him the chance to lash out, most especially not before the other knew who he was.
It was obvious that he was confused, his gold eyes growing wide as he realized who had a grip on him. Instead of explaining himself, the larger man just looked over his shoulder, studying the book that was opened in the younger’s lap as the teen tried to squirm his hands loose. He couldn’t have that, it would ruin his plans, and he didn’t really want to hurt his prize. His goal wasn’t to hurt him at all. No, he wanted to keep him instead.
He didn’t want many things, just some love and affection, but failing that he could go for keeping this one, if only for a little while. He made a hushing noise at him, ceasing the uneasy motions as he tugged him back, knowing that his prize didn’t really want to hurt him either. Not after just so recently being injured because of him.
“What… are you doing?” The smaller relaxed a little as nothing else happened, but the inherent stiffness made it clear that he wasn’t at all fond of the current attention.
“I’m just collecting a due is all.” Casting his eyes around the room, he nodded to himself, reassured that nobody would come here for a few hours at the very least. He’d been careful about that, since he knew that nobody else would have reached the startling clarity, as he had, that wrong didn’t matter anymore.
Nothing mattered without a proper purpose, and he’d long since lost his. He needed a new reason. So he was making one.
“A due?” He sounded confused by that, but when he tried to turn in his grip he just tightened his arms, shaking his head. Stilling, with his voice moving from confused to uneasy, he tried again. “What due? I don’t ignore things like that…”
“Yes you do. You value that trade of yours, but you do little with it when someone is constantly there.” Nuzzling against his hair, the larger man readjusted his grip, shifting small mismatching wrists to one hand quickly as the other moved to rest along the teen’s collarbone. He was delicate, even with the touch of metal under his fingers.
“That’s not true!” He twisted around in his grip, tugging his wrists a bit to try and make him let go without having to resort to violence. “And this isn’t funny! It’s a bad joke.”
“No joke at all. I just wanted a little attention for once. Since nobody is willing to give it, it’s not so wrong to take it. Right?” The tremble under his hands was muted by layers of cloth, but the pure uneasiness that had entered the golden eyes didn’t quite bother him as it should. “I’m not going to hurt you, so it’s nothing bad.”
“Well, what are you going to do then?” He seemed to collect himself with that, tugging at his hands a little still, trying to slide away from the hand on his upper chest without letting him notice. Of course the older man noticed, but he didn’t let his small companion realize he did. Not yet.
Sliding his fingers down, he ran his palm up under the thick over shirt to rest against the rapid beating heart there. He petted, pushing him back into his lap as the book skittered to the floor. “I’m going to love you.”
The longhaired one froze in his grip, breath picking up before he started shaking his head quickly. “Then why are you holding onto me like this?
“Because I want you to let me. Will you let me boss? Is it too much to ask for a little attention for once?” He nuzzled again at his hair, the hand at his wrists tightening slightly as the other played down his shirtfront. He could take his time. He didn’t need to worry that the boy would get away. He’d be careful, cautious in a way that nobody ever bothered to be with him.
“That doesn’t make sense. No sense at all. Fine, I’ll play cards with you or something, you only needed to ask, but get off me!” He twisted a little, scowling, but there was a distinctly uneasy look in his gold eyes.
The teen hadn’t resumed struggling, so he took that as a positive sign, fingers undoing the clasp of his overshirt so he could stroke the skin of his collar near his automail. “I don’t really want to play cards with you right now. But maybe later? If you’re still willing I mean.”
He must have seen something in his eyes, or heard something in his tone, because the gold eyes got a little wider, the tugs a little less cautious about if they could possibly hurt the larger blond or not. “I don’t know what the hell you thought you were going to get out of me, but you were wrong alright? Wrong!”
“That seems to be the reaction I always get.” Sighing softly, he yanked the teen into his lap more securely, keeping automail pressed to the alchemist’s other wrist so that if he kept trying to use it or get loose he would hurt himself as much or worse than him. “Just calm down and let me, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“That’s nice! Really! Get the fuck off me! Did you get hit too hard or something on that last mission?” He winced as the tugging made the metal dig painfully into his skin, but he didn’t stop pulling until he traced his larger hand down to run his fingers over the front of his pants. At that point he froze entirely.
“Not really. It was a bullet wound, remember? Just… let me have a reason to care if I live or die anymore.” He wasn’t lying, that was why he felt the need to do this, to step up and take something he would have otherwise never have considered. He just didn’t care what the consequences were.
“Havoc! That’s not… I…” Grimacing, the smaller blond shook his head mutely, clearly unable to get across whatever he was wanting to say. When he started speaking again, the words were almost too low for him to catch. “But… I thought you had a reason. I mean, you’re helping the Colonel right? That’s the reason… You don’t need my help for that reason!”
“That’s not human contact. That’s not acceptance or warmth. That’s not enough.” Nimble fingers undid the teen’s pants quickly and his hand slid under the material so he could run his fingers over what was there. The complete lack of excitement was expected, if not a little disappointing.
“No! Don’t do that! You’re not supposed to do that!” The smaller of the pair pressed back into the larger, slightly panicked as he renewed the tugs on his wrists, careful now for completely other reasons than not wanting to injure his companion. He just wanted to get away from the hand down his pants.
“Shhh, it’s alright. Just let me make you feel good. That’s all for now. Just feel.” Moving long fingers over the flesh against his palm, he let his eyes fall half shut, lips brushing over a soft cheek. “You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you Boss.”
“You are hurting me. You’re not- You’re a guy.” He flinched, the self-remonstration clear on his face as he leaned away from the elder man’s lips, the head shaking resuming. “Don’t you get it? You’re not supposed to, and I don’twant to.”
So his words might say, but the fine tremble that was under his hands wasn’t entirely from fear and panic. No, some of it was from what his hand was doing. He’d spent many a night to himself, so he knew exactly how to pull and tug, bringing the unwilling youth to life even as he continued to try to squirm away, protests getting lower, falling into miserable whispers.
It went more smoothly then, especially since it seemed that the teen couldn’t bring himself to hurt him. He could have, he had automail. He could have ripped out of the snug grip and nailed him one, but he didn’t. He squirmed and protested but he didn’t make him stop the touching. It didn’t take long until he got what he was after, warmth spilling over his fingers as a low, near pained sounding whimper came to his ears. It wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear, but time would improve that, it was something to hope for.
“Let me go now.” The voice was thick, filled with unshed tears. “Just… just let me go.”
“No… I don’t want to let go anymore.” Kissing the back of the teen’s neck, he pulled his hands loose of the leather, gently refastening the material before he released his wrists. Only after the hands fell limply to Edward’s lap did he relax, wandering hands sliding around the small form to hug him securely against his chest as he kept his face tucked against golden hair. He’d gotten what he came for. It was so much sweeter than he’d expected it would be.